SALEM’S LOT: A Black Altar, and DIY Worm Holes in Time

A few days ago I cooked-up the idea of building a small platform/ledge that I could keep in my car. I could tote it around, and set it up at different spots. The possibility of throwing it atop some local banks, creating a make-shift bank to curb was quite seductive. I planned on constructing the platform to be 42” long, 30” wide, and about 9” high. These are the dimensions of old railroad pallets. In the late 1990s, one of these pallets appeared at a local skate park, and it was super rad to skate. The idea of a portable skate toy sounded fun. It was time to make it happen. I figured I could build it for pretty cheap, too. First, I snagged some “free” 2x4s at a nearby site (all these years, and still a “plywood hood”). A few hours later, I was at my local skate shop, and the owner told me he had some left over Masonite. It just happened to be 30” wide, and 48” long. Too perfect. I decided to make the platform 48” instead of 42”, as it would just require less work cutting stuff to size. I purchased a 4’ length of angle iron, and a 4’x’4 sheet of ½” plywood, and 4 cinder blocks that were 8” squares (to raise platform off the ground). I also had an old iron bed frame, which could be cut up and used as angle iron. I built the platform, and installed the real angle iron on one 4’ side of platform, and the bed frame angle iron on the other 4’ side. The Masonite went on as a top surface, flush against the angle iron. Everything had counter-sunk screw holes, so the entire thing was smooth as butter. As a final step, I spray painted everything all black (inc. the cinder blocks), and stenciled the name on top. Total cost, including spray paint: About $30.00. The free Masonite, 2x4s, and bed frame angle iron certainly helped reduce the cost.

I live in Boston. Middle of the city. Not much space to set-up something like this, without bothering others, or disrupting traffic. There is, however, one industrial/office park not too far from where I live. It is quite isolated. At night there is a very large parking area that becomes empty and vacant. I have named this place “Salem’s Lot” (I’ll let you ascertain all the implied meanings and symbolism of that). The area is surfaced with very level, smooth, fast, blacktop. Lighted. No one around. Woods on three sides. But more important than any of this, the place has energy. A feel. A good vibe. Something skate-spiritual. There is an intangible element that makes some spots much better than others. We all have that one favorite curb, ditch, hill, ledge, ramp, etc. What makes it a favorite? Often it is more than just the object itself. The surroundings, the context…the feel of the entire area and setting often play huge roles. Skate spots are as much metaphysical as they are bare existence. The ledges at EMB would have a very different “experience” than skating a ledge of the exact same dimensions behind a Walmart in the middle of Iowa. Salem’s Lot has that magical element to it. Prior to building The Black Altar, I would frequent the Lot when I was in the mood for a midnight flatland session. Now that The Black Altar was built, the area was about to enter a whole new realm of enchantment. 

I went over to the Lot spot a few nights ago for The Black Altar’s christening. The first thing I noticed was how different the bed frame iron and the “real” angle iron were from each other. The angle iron was a harder metal, had a sharp 90 angle edge, and was unpainted. The bed frame iron was a bit softer, had a slightly more rounded edge, and was coated with some type of paint. With my first 50/50 on the angle iron, my board stopped dead in its tracks. I threw a slight film of wax on it, and added a lot more speed. It grinded, but it was clear this was going to take a bit to really break in. I would certainly need to get a layer of aluminum laid down on the edge before it was really “functional.” As the bed frame metal was softer (I knew this from drilling screw holes in both of them), I expected it grind even slower than the “real” angle iron. I could not have been more wrong. It was slick as ice, right from the get-go. After thinking about it, this made some sense. It had a more rounded edge (e.g. didn’t dig into trucks), and it was painted. So, take note, anyone DIYers who may want to build their own version. The contrast between the two made for some fun, and it was nice to have a little grinding variety. The Black Alter proved to be a total success. I may have to get additional cinder blocks, to allow for more height options. I am really happy with how it turned out, and I can’t wait to fully tap all its potential. 

After skating for about 45 minutes, I sat down to take a break. Sitting in the warm night air, with the cicadas droning on in the nearby woods, I suddenly realized how much Salem’s Lot physically resembled a night spot from my distant youth. Maybe that was why this place had that certain sense of magic to it. Then, it seemed as if the fabric of time began to unravel. A distant memory experience came flooding back to me. A hot summer night, when I was about 12-years-old. I was skating in an empty parking lot. I had found some wood, and some bricks, and made a small platform. 12 am. Age 12. Empty Lot and a platform. 12 am. Age 42. Empty Lot and a platform. Suddenly, I was 12, and 42, at the same moment. The continuum of time had collapsed. Generally, we experience our “now” in terms of our future short and long term goals and possibilities (e.g. take the next left turn in the road, meet a work deadline, retire at 65, find the mounting hardware bolt I just dropped on the floor, etc.). How we comprehend and interpret those goals and possibilities is contextualized in/by our prior experiences. Our “now” is future orientated, but guided by our past, all of which fuse into a present understanding of our “now.” Here, in Salem’s Lot, all of this was breaking down. The past was guided by the future, 30 years ago was now, and the “now” was a lived-memory…all at the very same instant. The experience of past, the future, and the now, became a single, seamless, timeless, experience, in which it was difficult to parse apart one from the other. My mind swirled. All I could do was look at my skateboard, and smile, for it…it… alone was the single string which fused the past, present, and future together in this one moment. It alone was the portal.

My friend Ben made a home-cut board a few months ago. It flashed in my mind. Part of the graphic were the words “Lot Lurker.” Flash to Kyle’s blog post. Flash to a previous night I had. Flash to Luchaskate comments about parking lots. A collective unconsciousness. A shared experience. A skater’s transcendental truth. 

Salem has many lots.  They all have a lurking magic.

One In The Chamber

At some point in the distant past, my deck broke. I don't remember the circumstance, but for whatever the reason was, I wasn't able to get another deck for almost two weeks. Since then I have always had "one in the chamber." By that, I mean I've always had a brand new deck at home, just waiting to be set up. If my board breaks, or I just decided it's "done," there is no waiting hit the local shop, etc. I always have that spare, just ready to go. Once the spare gets set up, I buy another deck to keep on-hand, and the process repeats. I've done this for close to 20 years at this point. As a teenager I couldn't really afford to do it. As an adult, not really an issue.

A new deck, especially one that you are stoked on, is always a magical object. Despite how many hundreds of decks I've gone through over the last 30 years, I'm still always spellbound when getting a new one. Having "one in the chamber" keeps that new-deck-magic alive on almost a daily basis. Last year when I had a bad ankle injury, and was off the board for 3 months, that crisp new deck sitting in my room always brought a smile (and hope). "I can't wait to ride that thing." I'd stand on it almost daily, in admiration of both it, and the future-fun it symbolized. Potential is one of the things that makes a new decks so special; you know there is much fun to soon be had.

Autumn in New England is best time of the year for skateboarding. Cool, crisp days, where you don't get too hot, or too cold. The leaves turn brilliant colors, and there is a stark, but beautiful quality to the sky, air, and landscape. There is nothing like it. The injury mentioned above, when I was out of commission for three months, that three-month period was mid-September through mid-December. I didn't get to skate, at all, last fall. It was a devastating blow. I greatly look forward to autumn 2016.

Boston Common, in its autumn brilliance. No filter.

Over the last year or so, I have had 3 of the Anti-Hero "larger" Classic Eagle decks (32"x8.25"x14.25"). It's one of the best dimensions/shapes/graphics decks I've ever ridden. I was horrified when I learn that Anti-Hero recently changed the dimensions of the "Classic Eagle" decks. My favorite board, maybe ever, is no longer being made. That said, I just managed to score one as my "one in the chamber" deck. It will probably the last one those specific decks that I ever ride, and it happens to have my favorite top stain color, too (black/gray). Plato's Theory of Forms has no greater perfection. I will probably be setting it up in mid-September, just in time for the full bloom of Autumn. The magic of skateboarding is not just in the act of skating, but also anticipation of it.

In the mean time, every time I look at that deck, I can't help but smile. Good times are on the horizon.

Currently in the chamber.

Skate Videos. Why I Hate and Love Them.

I grew up with skate videos. Or rather, skate videos and I grew up together. From the first efforts of Powell in the 80s, to the recent Adidas high production premier, it’s been an interesting trip. In the early years I was stoked to see a new video. They were watched over and over again. They inspired people to go skating. Now, skate videos are worse than a scorching case of Panda AIDS, Zika, and SARS all combined into a neat 20 minute advertisement.

Modern skate videos are a tedious bore. A tragedy to make Homer jealous. Skateboarding has become hard to watch. Golf might offer more excitement. Skate videos are no longer inspiring. They don’t make you want to go skate. They don’t spread the stoke. It’s more like watching someone doing algebra. The specific problem dovetails into two (well, maybe three) issues that make contemporary skate videos a soul-crushing nightmare.

First, is saturation. In order to maintain market relevancy, everyone is releasing 3x video clips a week. Combine that with the sheer number of companies in skateboarding right now, and we’re talking Old Testament floodwaters.

Second, is predictability. Before I even watch the newest video, I know what I am going to see. Super tech ledge tricks. Something gnarly down a handrail. A big gap. **Yawn** It’s just become so, so, fuckin’ predictable. Once you’ve seen footage of Jaws skating gaps, everything else becomes pretty mundane. How many more combos can Shane O’Neil string together on a ledge? It just all passes a point of absurdity.  Maybe I am just old. Maybe I have just seen too much skateboarding. How many kickflips over an X can one man possibly be expected to endure before utter madness sets in? While I may not be able to predict the exact combo, when I see Nyjah skating towards a ledge, I know what is about to happen (it will be something like a Tre flip to nose grind to nollie flip out). I just can’t watch it anymore, and still be moved by it. Yes, Nyjah has absurd talent. Yet, he is also absurdly uninspiring to watch skate, which brings me to the last issue.

The fun factor. Watching a lot of modern stunt-man skating does not look like fun. It looks horrifying, or so tech that it’s just…goofy. Olleing down 25 stairs? I mean, like, HOLY FUCK, that is sooo gnarly, but it screams shattered bones before it even approaches something that looks like fun. Bigflip to f/s railslide to kickflip out. Yeah, crazy hard, nothing I’d ever be able to do, but it just doesn’t speak to me. Modern videos document, but they do not inspire. Sure, some may be inspired by most modern skate videos. I am just not one of those people.

Yet, not everything falls into the “unwatchable.” There are still a lot of videos out there, which simply rock the world. The only videos I can watch these days are ones where I have absolutely no fucking idea what is going to happen next. A few examples are below. What makes these special is, well, watch for yourself. I don’t need to explain it.

The Pyscho Killer / Glenn "Glenzig" Davidson video, which can be seen here.

Any video made by Fancy Lad.

The Magenta Guys have this radness going.

Jerry Gurney. This one takes a bit to get going, and then, wow. The real fun doesn't start until about 45 seconds in.

Richie Jackson. This is simply amazing stuff.

Mike V. and the crew are also putting out clips that is just pure fucking fun, and make you want to go skating more than anything else. Just how it should be.  


EDIT/POST-SCRIPT: A few comments about this post were made on Facebook between a friend and I. They should probably be included.

Jose: The 1 8 makes rad videos that still inspire....when they make a video!

Me: I debated mentioning the 1 8 in this post. I left them out because, well, like almost everything else they do, it's in its own world. Fucktards was so raw. Tent City to Destination Unknown, to the recent "Landfill Contributors" clips on the AH web site...all amazing stuff.

Jose: They never tire cause it's real skateboarding. Hanging out with your bros capturing those moments sometimes when you're actually filming and not just on a filming mission.

“Man, I wish I had lived a less authentic life.”

Well, it’s June. That means gay pride events/parades around the country. For the last week or so, for some reason, I have felt compelled to write something about this subject. I am not quite sure why. Actually, compelled isn’t the right word, “obligated” is. Again, I ask why. The gay pride parade in Boston is this Saturday. I have a lot of mixed feelings about it.

The first “pride” event, in June of 1969, was a bunch of liquored-up transsexual/transgender/drag queen prostitutes who started an actual riot, in retaliation of/for/to police brutality at a local gay bar in NYC. That night they decided to vote with a brick. Three nights of riots followed (sounds a lot like modern police/race relations, actually). Today, gay pride parades are family orientated events. They are often nothing more than advertisements for corporate banks, local politicians, and churches. People march down the street in pretty rainbows, behind a nice little banner with assorted corporate logos, as if they are walking commercials. Street League for homosexuals. Is this what we fought for all these years? To walk behind a bank’s advertisement? I know I am oversimplifying the issue, but at the same time, I am absolutely not.

I suppose I feel compelled obligated to write something about “pride” because I know how important it is to be “out.” It’s a lot harder to be a homophobic asshole when one of “those people” is someone you “know.” That, in turn, helps make the world a more livable place for everyone. Part of me wants to touch on that issue, especially in the context of skate culture, because I am indeed one of “those” people (and skateboarding could certainly use it). Or maybe I could talk about, how what I learned from skateboarding, helped me to actually “come out” some 20+ years ago (I covered this in some other posts, anyway). But, I am so over per se identity politics (even if the GOP seems pretty obsessed with us). I’ve been “out” for over 20 years. At least in my life, being queer is mostly a moot point by now. It’s just like…*yawn*. Big fucking deal. Do I need to rehash this, again? Can't we go get tacos, or skate a curb? To those who think of me, or anyone, as lesser person because of their sexual orientation, I'd be more than happy to take the claw side of a hammer to your face.

And yet another part of me just wants to unleash on everything I despise about so-called gay culture. Because of skateboarding, I grew up dirty, bruised, bleeding, in the streets, running from the police, listening to crazy-ass music, and hanging out with crazy-people, as we did crazy-ass shit. The world of high-fashion, fancy cocktails, show tunes, rainbows, some pop-diva wailing about some bullshit, and overall fabulousness makes me want to cut off my own arm, and then fist myself with my own severed limb. Ok, maybe I’m being a little bit dramatic (I am gay, after all. I mean, we’re supposed to be dramatic, or something). That said, I don’t really want this blog to be focused on negative stuff, so I am really hesitant to totally unleash. I also don’t want a skate-based blog to be focused on what I hate about gay culture. It just doesn’t fit. I mean, there is nothing inherently wrong with all of that stereotypical “gay” stuff I listed above, it’s just not a world I can relate to, at all. Glitter, rainbows, Armani, and Madonna? Fuck that. Blood, bikes, skateboards, and punk rock.

   

So, in terms of what to write about all this, these reservations just leave me with a void. A void that I still feel an obligation to fill. I guess the only thing I really have to say, which I learned from both being a skater, and from being “queer,” is to be who ever the fuck you are, and tell the rest of the world to go fuck themselves. One thing I know or sure, is that no one, NO ONE, on their deathbed is going say, “Man, I wish I had lived a less authentic life.” Be who ever you are, and rock that party as hard as you fuckin' can.

My gay ass, nollie backside lipslide up the block at a local DIY spot.

Safety Last

And…I’m out on injury. Again.

The last year I have been plagued by injury. Two bad sprains. Tendonitis in two different spots. With physical therapy, the latter was making good head-way. I was skating a lot more, and getting a lot of the rust off (from being out on injury). I couldn’t skate as much, as long, or as hard, as I wanted, but I was skating, and that is better than nothing. This week I actually thought one afternoon, “Hmm. I haven’t been off-the-board injured in awhile.” Spoke too soon. The very next day, I jacked my right foot bailing a backside blunt on a Jersey barrier. Here is a small feeble grind I did moments before the b/s blunt injury. 

 

What I wouldn’t give at this point to just have solid 3 months of skating without injury, without having to hold back how often/hard/long I skate for, and without being in some serious joint/tendon pain the following day. The reality is am 42, not 22. Age is a real thing. I have almost resigned myself to the fact that I will never again be injury/pain free for an extended period. And isn’t that just disheartening. On the other hand, ever time I have fallen, I have gotten back up. Every time I have been injured, I have healed. I have no question that I will yet again. In the meantime, there is acute frustration. Frustration that I can’t do what I love, and frustration that I know injury is going to be more and more common and frequent as time goes on. Lance Mountain made that one comment, “Skateboarding doesn’t make you a skateboarder; not being able to stop skateboarding makes you a skateboarder.” Some real truth to that, as only the injured know. And then there is the John Lucero quote, “My knees are ruined. My back is blown out. I have a hard time walking. I’m going to have a hard time getting up out of this chair in a second, and it’s all because of skateboarding. And it feels so good. It feels so good to know that you’re a skateboarder, and that’s it.”

There is no question that I will be back on the board again. There is also no question that, eventually, I will again be off the board due to some unknown future injury. Both are inevitable. The ying and yang of being a 40+ skater. "Sometimes you have to just say “fuck it” and keep doing the possibly injurious thing, because even that fall will lift you up in the end." -Concrete Lunch. There is also this and this, great posts on essentially the same topic.

Safety last. Life first.    

Product Review & Project Recap: Red Paint, Lacquer, Brick Rub, and a Crusty-Ass Curb

Today we are reviewing some quasi “oddball” items, but they are things that every skate DIY’er should know about. Moreover, I’ll share how we transformed a totally unskateable curb into a local hot spot.

Product Review Items: 

1.    Rust-oleum “Professional High Performance Protective Enamel” paint (“Safety Red, K7764”), $35-$55 per gallon. You can get smaller amounts for much cheaper.

2.    Clear, spray-on, Lacquer (any brand will suffice), about $5.00

3.    Concrete Brick Rub (tool), about $10.00

Short Version: Take a super crusty parking block, brick rub it, give it two (or more) coats of red paint, and after the paint dries, spray it with lacquer. You will now have a kick-ass curb that will slide and grind like crazy.

Long Version: Last year we started a skate collective, as a local chapter of The Build Project (kicked off by Real, Anti-Hero, etc.). One of our smaller projects was to paint some local curbs and parking blocks. None of us had ever painted curbs before. We had no idea what the best type of paint was, how much to use, how to seal it, etc. In short, we had no fucking idea what we were doing. I solicited help from numerous “curb consultants,” and was given several different suggestions. Rustoleum “Professional High Performance Protective Enamel” paint kept coming up again and again. A friend ordered some on-line, but they wouldn’t ship it our state (MA) because it was “too volatile.” Leave it to us to inadvertently order “bomb making” material. There was an alternate version which they would ship, so that’s what we ended up with (the alternate version is what I am reviewing. Not really sure what the originally ordered version is/was).  Once we had the paint, the brushes, and the brick-rub, it was time to get down to bid’ness.

First, we painted a local curb that was made of marble. When we were done, it skated great. That said, it skated well before we painted it, too. The REAL test was going to be on a few parking blocks we had our eyes on. These blocks had never been painted, even when they were first manufactured. They had been long abandoned, and were quite weathered and corroded. Crusty-as-fuck. Even with wax, they didn’t slide. Grind? Forget about it. Would painting these actually make them skateable? I had deep skepticism. Take a look for yourself. This is one the blocks before we did anything to it. These photos aren’t pretty. The curb has a face that only a true curb junkie could love.

BRICK RUB: One of the guys in our collective extolled the virtues of “concrete brick rubs.” I had never heard of these things before. They are used to smooth out edges of bricks, and hardened concrete. Essentially, they are just really gnarly pieces of sandpaper for really gnarly materials. I was told that if you, “Just smooth the edge with a brick rub, and add some wax, you can skate any ledge.” Yeah. Right. Nike really cares about skateboarding, too.

Well, it was time to put this brick-rub thing to the test. I took it, and “sanded down” the edges of the parking blocks. It certainly had a dramatic impact on the way the edges LOOKED, as it smoothed out all the kinks and gnarly spots, but there was no chance that just a bit of wax was going to make these monster crust blocks skateable. To be honest, I was skeptical that the paint would have much of an impact, too. That quickly changed once I started painting the curb. The paint was thick as hell, and I painted the blocks with really thick coats. By the time the curb was ¼ way painted, it started to look like a “real” parking block. I let the first coat dry for about 18 hours, and then added a second coat. After 24 hours I added a layer of the spray-on Lacquer (that shit dries super-fast). At this point, the blocks were GLOWING with color. They were begging to be skated, almost mocking me to even try grinding them. Yet, I was still a bit skeptical as to how well all of this was actually going to work. Indys, don’t fail me now, it’s show time. Five minutes later I was hitting all kinds of board/tail/nose slides across both blocks. Grinds were almost effortless. My mind was melting. I was completely blown away. This now totally skateable curb was its own, perfect, self-contained skatepark. There were other suggestions/methods made about how to treat/paint curbs, and we may try those in the future, but for now I can say with 100% certainty, that the method described above will indeed transform an unskateable, crusty-ass curb into something you will love. I have seen the transformation with my own eyes. The magic is real.

            
 

Wisdom From the Acient Masters of Alt.Skate-Board (Part 10)

Thoai Tran wrote 14 installments of Zen and Skateboarding. Here is Part 10. See introductory comments I wrote on this post for full context of the entire series.

Part Ten: Four Elements
Shi, who has just started skating several months ago, came up to the Ch'an master and said:

" I am only a beginner. I love skating because there is so much to do on this simple board. There are so many styles, so many people who can work magic with their board. But my question to you, oh venerable one, is how I can tell who are the good skaters? What tricks must I do to be considered good? What advice can you give me, oh venerable one?

The Ch'an master pointed to the distant sea and answered:

" My young friend, you want to know how you can tell good skating? It is very simple....go to that distant sea, and count the number of grains found on that beach. Then you will truly grasp what is good in skateboarding..."

Shi bowed his head and continued:

" Do you mean to say that a tailslide is just as beautiful as an intricate flip trick? That cannot be! Something as intricate and complex must be better...I have spent days practicing on this particular one, and minutes landing a tailslide! How can that be?"

The Ch'an master pointed to the skies above and answered:

" My young friend, the universe that we find ourselves under is infinite and all-encompassing. All the things we see are manifestations of one energy, being converted from one form to another, but never created or destroyed. Both a tail slide and a more complicated flip trick are part of this infinite energy flow; each is a variation of that which is already perfect and complete...You add or remove energy; just as you cannot add or subtract beauty to that which is already perfect and constant..."

Shi bowed his head once more. So he continued..

" Oh venerable one, so what is the purpose of skating then, if beauty doesn't exist? If everything is relative, then aren't skaters just subjecting themselves to a trivial activity that has no meaning or relevance? I think that skaters must have a goal! Without one, it is illegitimate...meaningless! My goal is to become professional before I turn 20! It gives my skating meaning..."

The Ch'an master pointed to the burning sun and remarked:
  " In the relentless heat of the tundra,
a lion lies on the crusted and burning dirt.
Under a shriveled tree that has lost its life
to the flames of its stark reality,
it exists where no other beasts have dared to venture
or embark through the burning desolation...

The lion has no reason to stay or not to stay. It is perfectly content with its own nature..."

Shi reflected for a moment. He continued...

" Oh venerable one, then what are the important things in skating then? How should I approach my skating then? What should I look for? "

The Ch'an master scooped a handful of dirt with his hand and answered:

" All the minerals and elements necessary for life are found in this moist soil that I have in my hand..."

 He handed Shi a shovel and told him to plant a young sapling on top of the distant hill..