2019 was one of the hardest years of my life. I supposed I should take a moment to reflect on it. It was marred with emotional, physical, and existential pain. A few of the “highlights” include my mom having another back surgery, a friend’s father dying, a bad kidney stone (and subsequent surgery to remove it), my car died (for good), a second major surgery for my mom (hip replacement), a pet put down, a friend’s sister committed suicide, some problems at work, and taking care of my increasingly elderly and disabled parents alone. If that wasn’t enough, I broke my leg in late May. It didn’t heal all that well, and I had a second surgery on 12/20 to remove hardware and scrape out internal scare tissue (hopefully increase its flexibility). I will be in a “boot” until at least Jan 6th. It remains to be seen what the outcome will be. The entire year has been a very humbling experience. The biggest sources of stress were, and remain, (1), will I be able to meaningfully skateboard again (and if not, then what becomes of my life), (2) general concern for my parents, (3) anxiety about my own future. It’s certainly been a bad year.
That said, it has not been all bad. In February I started the process of learning to play ice hockey. Granted, I hit a huge speed bump with the broken leg. Hockey was also one of the things that helped get me through the “broken” period. I was able to start dry land hockey stuff long before I could even hope of stepping on a skateboard again. So, I am really fortunate that I had that as an outlet. It’s been bittersweet, however. I was not able to take two different “Learn to Play” classes because of the injury. I should be much further along in this process than I am already.
The two best things that happened in 2019 were that (1) I had some great friends who helped keep me occupied, and positive during the worst of the “crippled” period, and (2) I spent a lot of time with my parents (for better or worse). I am very grateful for those two things.
I leave 2019 behind, not with any resentment or ill-will, but with a greater sense of gratitude and humility for daily life than I ever had before. I have a few hopes for 2020. They are:
(1) Ride my skateboard and bike as much as I can
(2) Continue learning hockey
(3) Develop an even deeper understanding of what it means to find salvation in daily life
(4) Spend quality time with friends and family
I wish all of you a healthy, happy, and meaningful New Year.