Sunday, July 14, 2019

One Crutch!

Big break through today. I am now able to walk with only ONE crutch. This is huge, because it means I can now carry things, like a cup a coffee.

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Six Weeks Later


Tomorrow is a big day for me.


It is the six-week follow-up for my broken leg. The doctors originally said that I’d probably be weight-bearing around the six-week mark. I might be able to lose the crutches, and walk again on my own. That will be huge when it happens. It could mean resuming regular work hours, starting PT, carrying coffee on own, and hopefully beginning some light dry-land hockey practice. I will not be skateboarding for quite some time (or be back on the ice for real hockey).


Of course, there is also the chance that I may not be ready for any of this yet, and will still be confined to the crutches for some time. My ankle area is feeling stronger, but there still some serious stiffness, feeling is not totally back yet, leg muscles are atrophied, and my foot is still swollen (bruising is almost 100% gone, however)…so there, is still quite a ways to go before I am back to normal. I don’t know if it’s better to hope for the best, or expect the worst for tomorrow.

Monday, July 1, 2019

The Existential Vacuum

Life as I know it is “on hold” right now. I am literally just sitting around and waiting for things to “start” again. It’s beginning to weigh on me. Skateboarding, hockey, bicycling, urban/woodland exploration, and my job. These are all things I can’t do right now. They are the things that give my life real passion, meaning, and purpose. For now, they are all gone. For better or worse, they are what constitutes my “life,” and they are all on hold.

While I have a follow-up visit in two weeks, and they might clear me to be (partially) weight-bearing, it’s still going to be awhile before I can get back to those activities  (and that’s even assuming I fully heal-up). An existential vacuum opens when the things you care about suddenly collapse, and vanish.

Life is very different right now, and will be for quite awhile. I am a firm believer that life is more about how you respond to what happens to you, than what actually happens to you. That said, I haven’t quite figured out how to respond to this situation yet. I’m bored as fuck. I can’t be “active.” I can’t even walk without crutches right now. I need to find something meaningful to occupy my time and life with until I can return to the world I once knew.

It’s time to adapt.