Monday, July 1, 2019

The Existential Vacuum

Life as I know it is “on hold” right now. I am literally just sitting around and waiting for things to “start” again. It’s beginning to weigh on me. Skateboarding, hockey, bicycling, urban/woodland exploration, and my job. These are all things I can’t do right now. They are the things that give my life real passion, meaning, and purpose. For now, they are all gone. For better or worse, they are what constitutes my “life,” and they are all on hold.

While I have a follow-up visit in two weeks, and they might clear me to be (partially) weight-bearing, it’s still going to be awhile before I can get back to those activities  (and that’s even assuming I fully heal-up). An existential vacuum opens when the things you care about suddenly collapse, and vanish.

Life is very different right now, and will be for quite awhile. I am a firm believer that life is more about how you respond to what happens to you, than what actually happens to you. That said, I haven’t quite figured out how to respond to this situation yet. I’m bored as fuck. I can’t be “active.” I can’t even walk without crutches right now. I need to find something meaningful to occupy my time and life with until I can return to the world I once knew.

It’s time to adapt.   
     

1 comment:

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